- GOAL! Netherlands 3-1 Northern Ireland (Depay 90+3)
- GOAL! Netherlands 2-1 Northern Ireland (L de Jong 90+1)
- GOAL! Russia 4-0 Scotland (Golovin 84)
- GOAL! Netherlands 1-1 Northern Ireland (Depay 80)
- GOAL! Netherlands 0-1 Northern Ireland (Magennis 75)
- GOAL! Russia 2-0 Scotland (Ozdoev 59)
- GOAL! Russia 1-0 Scotland (Dzyuba 57)
- GOAL! Slovakia 1-1 Wales (Kukka 53)
- GOAL! Slovakia 0-1 Wales (Moore 25)
- Preamble
Live feed
- GOAL! Netherlands 3-1 Northern Ireland (Depay 90+3)
- GOAL! Netherlands 2-1 Northern Ireland (L de Jong 90+1)
- GOAL! Russia 4-0 Scotland (Golovin 84)
- GOAL! Netherlands 1-1 Northern Ireland (Depay 80)
- GOAL! Netherlands 0-1 Northern Ireland (Magennis 75)
- GOAL! Russia 2-0 Scotland (Ozdoev 59)
- GOAL! Russia 1-0 Scotland (Dzyuba 57)
- GOAL! Slovakia 1-1 Wales (Kukka 53)
- GOAL! Slovakia 0-1 Wales (Moore 25)
- Preamble
Scotland were plugged 4-0 in Russia. Let’s not dwell on that one, eh.
Wales took a useful point from their match in Slovakia, with the surprise selection Kieffer Moore scoring his first international goal. I’ve probably got this wrong, because I’m not the permutations man I used to be, but I suspect Wales will be okay if they win two of their three remaining games - Croatia and Hungary at home, Azerbaijan away. They need three wins to be absolutely certain. I think.
Northern Ireland were 11 minutes away from a famous victory and minus one minute from a famous draw, but those late Netherlands goals mean qualification for Euro 2020 is out of their hands. It was one of the more nobler defeats, not that this will be any consolation.
Final scores
Group C
- Belarus 0-0 Estonia
- Netherlands 3-1 Northern Ireland
Group E
- Slovakia 1-1 Wales
- Croatia 3-0 Hungary
Group G
- Latvia 0-3 Poland
- North Macedonia 2-1 Slovenia
- Austria 3-1 Israel
Group I
- Kazakhstan 1-2 Cyprus
- Russia 4-0 Scotland
- Belgium 9-0 San Marino
Peep peep! It has finished Slovakia 1-1 Wales, Netherlands 3-1 Northern Ireland and Russia 4-0 Scotland.
Slovakia 1-1 Wales Dan James misses a decent chance for Wales inthe last minute of added time, slicing wide from 12 yards after a good break.
GOAL! Netherlands 3-1 Northern Ireland (Depay 90+3)
Memphis Depay seals victory with a tender, precise finish from a very tight angle. Northern Ireland don’t deserve that.
The substitute Luuk de Jong scores a strange goal from 0.1 yards after a nifty bit of footwork. It looked like he might have been a fraction offside, though we haven’t seen a replay. There’s no VAR anyway.
GOAL! Netherlands 2-1 Northern Ireland (L de Jong 90+1)
Football, bugger off. That is so cruel.
Netherlands 1-1 Northern Ireland Four minutes of added time. Northern Ireland have been immense.
Slovakia 1-1 Wales We’re into six minutes of added time in Trnava. Gareth Bale should have been sent off just now, apparently, though I’m not sure exactly what happened because I’m glued to events in Rotterdam.
GOAL! Russia 4-0 Scotland (Golovin 84)
For the first time in their history (I think), Scotland are facing consecutive 4-0 defeats.
Netherlands 1-1 Northern Ireland The in-form substitute Donyell Malen has missed a sitter, heading wide from six yards. There are six minutes remaining.
Slovakia 1-1 Wales Six minutes remaining in Trnava. A draw isn’t a bad result for Wales, especially as it would mean they have a superior head-to-head record against Slovakia. That could be decisive.
“For the bad-weather-wanting Matt Dony, here’s my Hurricane XI,” says Matt Dony. “Only 8, because three got struck by lightning:
- David de Hail
- Cyclone Mings
- Fitz Squall
- Gust Poyet
- Wally Downespour
- Tornado Andre Flo
- Howard Gayle
- Hurry Kane.
GOAL! Netherlands 1-1 Northern Ireland (Depay 80)
Memphis Depay shatters the fairytale, toebunging past Peacock-Farrell from eight yards. That was a really good finish, because he took the shot much earlier than expected.
The substitute Josh Magennis has given Northern Ireland the lead! The goal came from some absurd defending from the Netherlands, with miskicks in the penalty box from first de Ligt and then Blind. Dallas picked up the loose ball on the right of the area, held off Blind and stood up a good cross towards the six-yard line. Magennis towered above everyone and steered a header into the corner.
GOAL! Netherlands 0-1 Northern Ireland (Magennis 75)
Oh my days!!!!
Latest scores
Group C
- Belarus 0-0 Estonia (full time)
- Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland
Group E
- Slovakia 1-1 Wales
- Croatia 3-0 Hungary
Group G
- Latvia 0-2 Poland
- North Macedonia 2-0 Slovenia
- Austria 2-1 Israel
Group I
- Kazakhstan 1-2 Cyprus (full time)
- Russia 3-0 Scotland
- Belgium 6-0 San Marino
GOAL! Russia 3-0 Scotland (Dzyuba 70) The play-offs it is for Scotland.
“Hi again, Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Of course the best, and longest running (since 1872) Scottish comedy of all is … ach, you know the rest. It’s just as well we can laugh at ourselves, we get enough practice, eh?”
At least Willie Miller and Alan Hansen didn’t run into each other the night.
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland Jonny Evans heads off the line from Wijnaldum! Nineteen minutes remaining, and for the first time it feels like a goal is imminent.
“Continuing the Radiohead theme, Rob — in the mid-2000s, I went home to Inverness,” says Simon Sylvester. “Walking home from the pub, I became aware of a large group of beery men at the far end of the high street, propping each other up and bellowing what I first assumed to be a football chant. I crossed the road to avoid them and went about my way. Halfway home, I caught myself humming the same tune, and realised that the drunken mob weren’t howling out some tribal statement, but were in fact singing Idioteque. Come on Scotland, by the way.”
Slovakia 1-1 Wales Every time I check on this game, Slovakia are in possession just outside the Wales area. But it’s still 1-1, and that would be a useful result for Wales.
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland There are 25 minutes remaining in Rotterdam. Northern Ireland are looking a bit tired, but they have defended with outstanding endeavour and intelligence.
GOAL! Russia 2-0 Scotland (Ozdoev 59)
Two in three minutes in Moscow. That was a screamer from Magomed Ozdoev, launched past David Marshall from 25 yards.
GOAL! Russia 1-0 Scotland (Dzyuba 57)
Scotland were having a good spell, but now they’re behind to a goal from the hulking Artem Dzyuba.
Latest scores
Group C
- Belarus 0-0 Estonia (full time)
- Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland
Group E
- Slovakia 1-1 Wales
- Croatia 3-0 Hungary
Group G
- Latvia 0-2 Poland
- North Macedonia 1-0 Slovenia
- Austria 2-1 Israel
Group I
- Kazakhstan 1-2 Cyprus (full time)
- Russia 0-0 Scotland
- Belgium 6-0 San Marino
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland The pressure is increasing in Rotterdam, with Northern Ireland looking a bit frazzled for the first time.
Slovakia 1-1 Wales “Are there any typhoons near Slovakia?” pleads Wales fan Matt Dony. “I once played a lovely acoustic arrangement of Everything In Its Right Place at a folk night. It went down exactly as well as you’re imagining.”
One for the therapist, I’m sensing.
GOAL! Austria 2-1 Israel (Hinteregger 56)
GOAL! North Macedonia 1-0 Slovenia (Elmas 50) One-nil!
GOAL! Slovakia 1-1 Wales (Kukka 53)
That’s put the ‘ach’ in Slovakia. Wales have been pegged back in Trnava, with Juraj Kucka hitting a cracking 20-yard volley past Wayne Hennessey.
Scottish comedy department “I want to thank you and everyone else for your recommendations,” says Matt Burtz. “As an enormous Frasier fan, Brian Cox will first and foremost be Daphne’s father in my eyes. The less said about Jane Leeves’ non-Mancunian accent, however, the better.”
At least Simon’s accent was perfect, eh? Oh.
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland There’s a long way to go - 43 minutes plus added time - but a draw would be an immense result for Northern Ireland, and mean that victory s in the return match at Windsor Park next month would guarantee qualification.
“Forget The National Anthem, Rob: Holland’s forwards have presumably been listening to How to Disappear Completely in the big earphones pre-game,” says Woolie Madden.
Peep peep! The second halves are under way.
“Evening Rob,” says Gerry Scott. “A word of recommendation for Bob Servant, a Broughty Ferry-set sitcom starring the great Brian Cox, an actor who seems able to do anything he puts his mind to.”
Can he play centre-forward? (See United, Manchester.)
Half-time reading
Half-time scores
Group C
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland
Group E
Slovakia 0-1 Wales
Croatia 3-0 Hungary
Group G
Latvia 0-2 Poland
North Macedonia 0-0 Slovenia
Austria 1-1 Israel
Group I
Russia 0-0 Scotland
Belgium 6-0 San Marino
“Bob,” writes my colleague Tom Lutz. “By my calculations, that is Zahavi’s 10th goal in seven games for Israel in qualifying. And he has scored 26 goals in 22 club games. Conclusion: he is good at scoring goals.”
Three months at Old Trafford would cure him of that.
Half time: Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland A brilliant 45 minutes for Northern Ireland. Bailey Peacock-Farrell barely had a save to make, and although the Netherlands had all of the ball, they played with a surprising listlessness.
GOAL! Belgium 6-0 San Marino (Tielemans 45+1) There are no easy games in international football.
GOAL! Croatia 3-0 Hungary (Petkovic 42) Bryan Petkovic’s second goal has sealed victory for Croatia, already.
GOAL! Belgium 5-0 San Marino (Alderweireld 43) It’s safe to say, without tempting fate, that Belgium have qualified for Euro 2020.
GOALS!
Austria 1-1 Israel (Lazaro 41)
Belgium 4-0 San Marino (Lukaku 41)
Slovakia 0-1 Wales A big appeal for a penalty is turned down after a tackle on Jonny Williams in the Slovakia area. That could have gone either way.
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland This is like a training exercise: attack and defence, invasion and repulsion. So far Northern Ireland are winning, because they’re drawing.
“Given Azerbaijan’s draw against Croatia during the last international break, every single team in this group is Wales’s rival for second place,” says Jonny Bull. “First might well be up for grabs by the end of the weekend too. If Croatia and Hungary could both lose, with Croatia losing their entire squad ready for Sunday, that would be ideal.”
GOALS!
Group G
Austria 0-1 Israel (Zahavi 34)
Group I
Belgium 3-0 San Marino (Brolli og 35)
Netherlands 0-0 Northern Ireland The Netherlands are not playing particularly well. Their tempo has been too slow, and I suppose it’s not beyond the realms that there might be a soupçon of complacency.